Relief :)

hmm.. two days ago ( 18th Dec 2012 ), I had my driving test.

I failed my on the hill.

I was shivering from the beginning so I think it couldn't b help that i'd failed it.

and of course, I was sad n disappointed upon myself.

but I hv faith that I can do better next time on the coming 31st.



oh, Monday, I went out with Eevia.

my very 1st tuition fren that I actually noe her name n kept n touch ;)

v went karaoke, was fun xD

Despite my mum scolded me again that day.. she said Im cruel.

I think so too...



today, I dated with Chin Zhi dear <3 :d=":d" p="p">
before that, I went out with my mum n grandma. Happy family time, I love it x)

hmm, not really too special about it actually.

maybe its because tomorrow is 21st of Dec, the world end day.

so I felt more grateful today for everything I have around me ;)

so me n Chin Zhi did a lot of talking, a serious tension release to me after a talk with Jessie dear on Tuesday too.

I love my darlings! I noe I made u guys worried so much for me.. thank u all!

after that v went to watch Life of Pi.

a movie Chin Zhi had always wanted to watch n a movie I heard how meaningful to b watched.

well, it didn't let me down. it was great.

I realised I m a coward cause if i were Pi, maybe i would just choose to die n sink with my family instead of keeping myself alive.

i couldnt let go of my family, i cant imagine how can i ever live without them.

but Chin Zhi made me realised that why must i give up?

i do i hv to run away every single time when i face a problem?

why cant i learn to grow up?

so i know now. for how selfish, immature and a coward i m.

i must grow. to b a better one :)



then i went home straight to my bedroom, lay in front of my new laptop.

a laptop my mum bought for me to let me hv a better laptop to do my homeworks.

it shows how loving my mum is towards me. she loves me so much :')

my mum came in. she sat quitely beside me.

a little bit of a akwardness.. so i thought i should say something.

i shared with her the story of Life of Pi.. and my feelings after watching it.

i dont remember how we went in to the topic of that pig, although it just happened 15mins ago, but we did.

so we talked.

i told her i noe im such a coward but in this friendship with tis pig, i wasnt a run-away.

i was scared by him.

he is a scary man.

i knew cause i observed.

i dint just decided it without thinking n understanding.

he is scary.

he is using my mum to get to me just because i ignored his sms n calls.

he is faking to be a good fren at the same time trying to just get me.

so scary that i wanted to run .. disgusting.

i can feel goosebumps.



my mum dint say a thing after that. just like out 1st yelling fight.

she did the samething by just hugging me, saying nothing.

im affraid maybe that ive hurt her again this time but i really hope i dint cause this time i really made everything clear.. everything i thought n felt to her..

i felt relieve.

i just hope everthing will get better from now..

i love my mum n family.

i noe im being ridiculous but i really hope my family relationship wont change forever.

v can b happy n love each other..

ok.. i just LOVE THEM!!!! >w<



hehe...weird post again i noe..

but to me a great day.. really. love u all <3 br="br" x="x">